The Perks of being a Cancer Fighter

First of all, I am not a cancer survivor sharing inspirational story of battling the non-euphoric sickness. Second, I wasn’t diagnosed with a life-threatening illness…as of now. Safe? Maybe.Still, the game is not over. I have numbered days of existence in which I could not fathom if I am going to be sick or not-or if I would acquire melanoma, leukemia and breast tumor in the latter fragment of my being.

So, why am I writing this?

I lost two loved ones because of cancer. Both of them were my granddad. I didn’t witness my lolo’s demise (my father’s father) since I was young and innocent to understand the cause of his death. I was 15 years old when another lolo of mine (mom’s stepfather) discovered he has lung ailment which later developed to a lung cancer.

Of course, the pain feels agonizing during the treatment process. I can’t bear seeing my grandfather’s frail condition; suffering in what people tagged as the “little killer of the society”. He was hospitalized for five to seven months with a medical team working to cure the malignant tumor inside his lungs. Expensive medicines pacify the growing discomfort inside him but the time came when he could no longer fight the excruciating ache and his body already reached its limits. It was August then when he passed away.

Anyone fears having illness especially cancer and admittedly, it is scary. Who would have wanted to be part of the increasing number every minute of positive patients? That’s why several people tried hard to prevent the occurrence of symptoms. We despise cancer.It will hinder our work performance, affiliation and fulfillment of dreams let alone the mounting expenditures needed to finance the treatment. Worst, there will be a few showering pity and grievances close to an advance funeral setting. Also, we don’t want to lose grip from our family and friends.

However, the most frightening part of cancer is not the sickness itself-it is how life goes on after being diagnosed with an estimated living time. Others simply wait for their death-completely shutting the world against them-and gradually killing themselves by isolation and depression.The more we thinkit as a destroyer, why not alter our viewpoint to somewhat positive: cancer as a sort of unsolicited gift with minimal perks entail on it. Sounds absurd and consoling-but one reason to celebrate for a thousand reasons to weep may not be bad after all.

Cancer fighters could be tired of being sick, of thinking their life as a waste and burden of other people’s lives. But good news, they have a choice to stop mourning; only a chance of spending valuable time with their loved ones; have the power to sleep at night with peace of mind instead of waking up in bed on wee hours figuring out ways to medicate their sickness. The ultimate purpose of the “gifted cancer patients” must continue. One day, when they are cured, they turned out to be stronger than ever and be an inspiration of many to look forward. Cancer would have been better though compared to a sudden death. By this, patients can likely relieve the moments of youth, ask forgiveness from those they have hurt, splurge to the acquaintance of their relatives and try activities they never dared to do. A probability of living free from cancer is still possible.

Honestly, sickness can control our physical engagements, weaken our body’s abilities and diminish our strength-but it shouldn’t consume our whole life unless we let it. As Augustus Waters of “The Fault in Our Stars” says it, “You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.”

Again, why am I writing this? So we can appreciate little things the world brings-even when cancer deprives someone to feel like it.

Today, my Mom undergoes a routine mammogram due to hereditary breast cancer that snapped out the life of my aunties. Should I be afraid to what could happen next? I will give a yes for an answer. Nevertheless, I keep reminding myself how fortunate we are for a short period our family has devoted together. At least, we’re prepared. No element of unexpected events will surprise us identical to car tragedy, abrupt disaster in the middle of a busy day and whatsoever. I will wake up morning by morning going tougher and tougher. And time will come when it seems there wasn’t any cancer in our home anymore. Through prayers and support, we believe the best for her health regardless of what the outcome will be.

If there was one lesson I remember during my lolo’s confinement, it is to live life to the fullest. Cancer would not make anyone less of a person or even less of a normal human. Yes, a bit different but not entirely. They can still love, enjoy nature, see sun rises and sets; laugh and have fun in a while.Life is not measured or weigh through longevity of existence in this temporal world; but by how we treasure time and make the most out of it that truly matters.

*Article above has been published to Herword.com (Philippines). Link attached: http://www.herword.com/herwords/main.php?id=cancer_fighter

 

 

Bucket List 101: Start life at 20 (?)

Reaching 20 something: lovin’ the feeling of being young, wild and free. The phase tagged as the exploration stage of a lady in the brink of womanhood. Say hello to killer stilettos and hoorah! to the latest make-up worn. Attending corporate night parties, check. Slumber parties with sweet tea cups, erase it already! Just like a metamorphosis, 20 something is the cycle where the cocoon starts to unleash the cover wrapped within it. This entails a wonderful butterfly ready to flap its wings and fly. Welcome to the world of maturity and growing up part 2.

Despite of hardships, 20 is just the perfect time to feel even younger, vibrant and absolutely independent-with less don’t’s in trying and more will’s to go forward. Yes, maybe, I can live my life to the fullest starting right of this moment.

I am making my bucket list, or let say, list of do’s and musts before leaving teenage years and finally step foot on the unknown ground of what waits ahead. And honestly, sharing this to my blog would not only satisfy me; it will put a smile on my face, too.

1.      1.  Less Tears, More Cheers –Avoid fretting when a sudden bad news came ruining your wonderful day. Before the sun sets in the horizon, remember one happiest moment you can’t forget that will surely draw a smirk on you. Smiling under troubles is free unlike crying that creates desolated mood. Today, I’ll refrain posting comments or status in my social media sites expressing sad feelings. I’ll ignore all hateful things and cursive stuff I hear on the radio when I’m off to work in the morning. By this, I wouldn’t breathe and share undesirable matters that ignorant people care to think of.

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         2.  (Don’t) Mind Busy– I’ve been struggling to overcome depression, worry and fear of living under mediocrity. Competing is what keeps me going because it supplies adrenaline rush and most importantly, a sense of worth-that I am not like any other who just give a damn okay when someone asks “how’s your day?”. Though, I realized acting busy is different to being busy with real work to finish. Also, competition is healthy as long as it does not wreck your personal relationship and career. So, stop telling “I’m always busy”; when the truth surfaces, you have time to unwind.

1.    3. Gotta keep head high– I’m talking about how one keeps his eyes straight to the target even after a major setback or critics from enemies. It doesn’t mean arrogance or not accepting one’s defeat. It’s standing tall when things easily fall. Remember where you started, learn from the mistake and move on. Don’t depend highly on hearsay from people who believe less of your capabilities.

4. Loosen the corset, have a drink– Haymitch from Hunger Games once dropped these words when Effie Trinket reprimanded Katniss because of losing her temper in front of the Game Makers. Effie gets high blood; afraid of unpleasant results from Katniss malevolence. But what she doesn’t know is that the real guts displayed by Katniss to the Game Makers will help her lead the top instead of pulling her down. Sometimes, we overthink and worry from showing our true colors. Yet, lesson learned from Effie, maybe, we need to simply sit down, relax and enjoy the ride. Nothing beats being oneself and that is the best character ever.

2.     5.Explore!–  Stop wasting any single day trying to think what could have been or what if’s. Wanna try this awesome adventure people are dying to try? Having hard time to ask a guy if you could go out together? If we have the guts to make things happen, make it. Nike’s famous brand tagline? Just do it.

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6. Be humble– One of my favorite verses in the bible reflects humility and patience. In Luke verse 11, Jesus said, “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” I gain confidence memorizing this proverb thinking how boastfulness can lead me to nothing. Whatever position we have now, don’t forget where we came-either on top or from rock bottom.

2.  7. Push your dreams and exceed limits– Nick Vujicic is born without arms and legs but it didn’t hinder him to strive. He relied on God’s grace and grew from the reason of his existence. He once thought he was helpless and decided to commit suicide. Imagine, if he killed himself by drowning to a bath tub, would he be sharing spiritual messages to millions of people living with disabilities and soon become an inspiration of many?

Don’t underestimate your dreams that it’s not like the others who can multi-hyphenate. Every person has their own strength and how they enhance and use it depends on their actions.

3.     8. Discover and don’t stop learning– Never put a dot to what you can achieve and will succeed. After our college graduation, a friend of mine said she will continue her studies when landed her first job so she could update her knowledge on the course we have finished. Really, what a wonderful decision! Learning doesn’t stop from the four walls of classroom and should never be. Don’t confine to studying lessons. Learn from them and cultivate.

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Ideas are strong. Seriously.

4.    9. Write a book– I have always enjoyed reading and writing ever since I was a child. These two hobbies of mine value my time and make me feel productive. I learned so much from reading children books to inspirational novels and variety of magazines. And when I’m surmounted with invariable concepts and ideas, I write it down. Until now, I dream to become a novelist or writer to encourage people. I think of myself developing the next Jodi Picoult or the greatest J.K Rowling readers have ever seen. Writing a book will do but it’s not the fame I look up to. It’s the lasting fulfillment of letting people know why passion and dreams are worth pushing through. (read #7)

5.     10. Live M-T-W-T-F-S-S as if it’s the LAST.- Today, wake up and utter short prayer. Then go to work like it’s your last day at the company. Ensure to efficiently toil; avoiding rants and whines when added up with extra labor from boss. Laugh with co-workers while throwing some sense of humor. Refresh from the daily grind by vanishing negativity and exhaling positive vibes. I say YOLO is the acronym to define this statement.

Think that there’s no tomorrow. So we live the day without wasting any single second. I don’t mean to stop resting and keep partying all day. What I wanted for everyone reading this is, cliché it may sound, but, life is too short. So, run the extra mile and test how far can you go to run the world.

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Any advices stated above can be anyone’s mantra. To make the story short, live to become one of the most fulfilled human leading a simple being and you will realize that life can start at 20 and the years to come.

It Only Takes 45 Minutes to Change a Life

A smile can change forever.

What if, we’re deprived with the ability to show our feelings using our facial expression? What if, they wouldn’t be able to light their candles on their first birthdays and passing?

As a corporate social responsibility of the company I was working with, we were tasked to be a volunteer of the day-for the surgical mission of 50 chosen cleft palate patients.  Admittedly, I was fortunate to help them in as much as they are thankful for our support.

One of my primary responsibilities are to assist patients before the operation; to include in my jobs are  take photos of the cleft palate children and roam around the hospital’s corridor to act as runner. Most of the shots taken are happy appearances from their hopeful faces; clueless of the unknown reality lurking among them. I and my fellow volunteers continued to lend our hands while for the passing 45 minutes; one child is given a second chance to live a normal life. A blissfully simple life awaits these young ones which were once robbed from them because of their unlikely condition.

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For the first time of my existence, I personally encountered a healed cleft palate 4-year old baby. Even if his eyes were gleamed with tears and the wound from his newly-operated mouth are still so fresh; his father, proudly carrying him, smiled widely filled with indescribable gratitude. I can sense his happiness. I just can’t emotionally attach myself since they need more strength instead of sympathy.

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These children have deeply touched my heart in ways I can’t explain and write in my blog. I have undergone several volunteers from the past. But Operation Smile mission has increased my appreciation on God’s given talents and blessings to me. I felt so lucky of being normal despite of trying hard to become physically perfect.

A child’s smile is wonderful because it paints thousands of arts and draws millions of words nothing could ever repay and replace. I wish I could extend my willingly free effort and time to other volunteer groups out there and continue exploring for possibilities of helping.

For more information, visit http://www.operationsmile.org and find out more how your touch can create a lasting impact.

Why You Must Not Date Your Best Friend’s Ex

Admit it, gals; your bestie’s guy is hot. His presence makes you tense and you’re laughing with his not-so-funny jokes so he would recognize your witty personality. You talk a lot almost about everything and it seems incomparable; compatible for each other even. But then, reality is just few miles with your best friend telling, “He’s mine. All mine”.

Until one day, they broke up; leaving you torn between two emotions: half-heartedly sad for your friend while wholly jumping with bliss for his taken “guy” now turned “ex”.  When encountering such scenario, should you be the good sympathetic best friend? Or seize it as a go signal to finally reveal the admiration you once hid from within?

Here are the lists why dating “him” can mark you as rebound on the love game and worst, ruin your friendship with your best pal.

1.       Not a happy ever after always. Just because he looks appealing outside and gentleman on the inside doesn’t mean you can work your relationship the fairy tale way without forging to any love mishaps.

2.       Many fishes in the sea. Opt for better ones aside from him. Though men vary in terms of characters, we can’t deny the fact that there are still tons of boys who can win your heart without any records of marring any of your closest friends’ feelings. Try to distinguish him when it comes to talents, physical capabilities, inner qualities and interpersonal skills and you’ll find out; maybe, he wasn’t exactly the one you’re dreaming to be with.

3.       Talk of the town. To add beef on the break-up issue, you’ll be the center of naysayers’ comments and backstabbing. You realize you’ve become liable and now contemplated as the third party for the relationship failure. You actually wanna fight back and cover your ass, but the evidences were so strong of you dating him that none of those whom you have explained believes on what you say.

4.       Immeasurable Comparison. I mean it girls: guys have tendencies to adopt “differential equation” thing. So, it’s either you prove your worth to not be easily compared to your best friend or you flow with the current. When dating him starts, he will spot your favorite pop songs, your hateful algebra, your hobbies and many more. If he’s into sports and you’re not; and your best friend spends the whole day with him playing hopscotch and Wimbledon, you’re dead. You’ll get disappointed for not liking what he enjoys and vice versa. There’s a possibility he’ll end up searching what’s missing to you that he expects to see. Sooner or later, you’ll be stuck performing what you usually don’t and you’re chasing to become identical with your best friend.

I do believe everyone has their own differences and it’s up to us on how we will express our peculiarities. If he can’t accept for what you are and don’t; and pressure begins to reach your nerves, it’s best to reconsider things before it’s too late.

5.       Best friend or Boyfriend?Remember, friendship can never be replaced but boyfriend can. Having to open a relationship with a guy your friend has past memories with will create potential avoidance instead of building rapport in the future. Awkward moments will likely occur between the two whenever you invite them for occasional gatherings.Don’t sacrifice your friendship over him no matter how deep you have fallen into.

If you can’t control the situation, have an intimate talk to your best friend and explain stuff in details but courteous way. Make sure she’s currently moving on with the stiffness of the break-up and ready to recap things to refrain from any misunderstandings later on.

Before you accept his proposal…..

Ask for the reason of break-up. Is it the guy’s or girl’s fault? If he does, was he able to save their relationship or make up for the fault he committed? If she’s to blame, what steps have she completed to resolve the concerns? Delve deeper if everything was a fanciful show to impress you for falling on his trap and leave you unexpectedly broken-hearted.

Just Kissed Dating Goodbye

Just when you thought love stories and books teaching lessons on how to handle relationship is enough to give you vitamins about the loops and hoops of commitment, well, think again.

Don't commit into relationship when you're not yet ready

Don’t commit into relationship when you’re not yet ready

I bought “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” simply because the title attracts my attention. Period. I’ve seen and heard the book as many times I could remember-at social networking sites, word-of-mouth and recommended gotta-have-it from magazines. It came to the point when I just the grab IKDG and flip the pages completely clueless and curiosity hungry. I need to silence the questioning thought inside me. So, I bought it.

Let me tell you that the book is not written conservatively for old-fashioned people lived in traditional time where everyone is mandated to follow beyond their agreements. Aggressive and philosophical readers would mind the author’s advices because it doesn’t conform to the world’s norms. Basically, Joshua Harris didn’t set it himself. He based his instructions on relationship between opposite sex in God’s biblical perspectives. Say what? Dating in bible’s own understanding?  I don’t believe it. That’s what makes the book entirely unlike any other romantic novels filled with smitten couples and happy endings. It will screw one’s belief into worldly outlook of dating.

The messages relayed were straight to the point. Could you not date at all for the sake of waiting the right guy or girl at the right time? How could you do it when the only way to find is to date? Somehow, it’s ironic, but the author explains reasons and tells stories why dating raises complicated relationship issues instead of sorting out. You’ll be amazed on the impact it will leave you after reading the half chapters; making you think, is it worth the try giving up the search for potential boy/girlfriend?

Let’s move to singleness topic. Do you feel you were designed to stay single for the rest of your life? Or to shorten, just for the rest of your teenage years? Kind of outdated, of course. The book has organized its answers but brace yourself for some thoughts you wouldn’t imagine. No guidelines or tricks prepared for luring guys to fall head over heels to you. Numbered tips and rules in modern courtship are absent.

Would you find empty pages because of the review I share? My answer is no. Then what in the world should I buy it when I will only be disappointed for not finding what I want? The truth is, I Kissed Dating Goodbye is not what you want because it is what you need. What you want is to hear fanciful promises about prince charming and princesses far beyond reality. The book offers exactly the essentials you might need to read about relationship since it states fact purposefully and not just scientific hypothesis or theory.

IKDG didn’t bring me down. I believe, it will to you. I expect nothing but I got almost everything-from tiniest details to bigger picture-of what a Christian example must I apply to my existence specifically in handling my own rapport towards opposite sex.

Not yet purchasing one? Don’t let opportunity flies once you see the book lying on the shelf of a bookstore nearest to you. Or else, you could miss half the part of what God promises in your lovelife.

In Love With A Married Man

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What would you do if the guy you love is unfortunately married? With ring on his finger and has plans to settle for family sake?  Gosh, it’s a cruel small world we’re living in; bound with clueless feelings and sudden burst of emotions where you can almost rip yourself off and ask, “Why the hell I’ve fallen in love with him? He’s married.”

It should be the end of the topic. After hearing the word engaged, married, with fiancée and planning to settle down; this is the moment we said to ourselves enough. But you know it’s not easy to forget or ignore a feeling you knew is very foreign. Too many fishes in the sea, probably. Fish yes, but good catch, I don’t think so. Because, there’s a possibility of catching starfish when you’re rummaging for better fish in the sea. This saying seems to apply on guys where better ones are already taken.

And why married guys filled with charm compared to singles? Why not look for available ones if the man we’re attracted to already has a wife?The inexplicable veracity lies with the appeal of being financially stable, less dependent, more matured and ultimate bravado. They have the capacity, one that is unexplainable, to make women fall in love with

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them regardless of the marriage issue. Movies depicting infidelity is a testament as why it’s almost ok to date or have an affair to wedded guys. Perhaps, because this men allowed ladies like us to smooch them without restrictions. In return, we permit our hearts to rule instead of our minds. We plummet to a forbidden relationship and we still don’t care. Complications arise when a woman let a devoted man to get her even if she knows it’s wrong.

 Recently, I met a guy oozing with charisma luring me all over. He’s damned hot aside from him being buff and lean and everything. He looks younger than his age. Actually, I wouldn’t want to be distracted yet I can’t help myself looking at him so different that I wanted to kiss him. Seriously, my hormones are raging ready for war. I believe I love him for just a span of period. Things might have been fine since I’m single but he’s married. Capital M and the rest is history.

There was a part of me wanting more of knowing him fully and him to me. Imagination has been trying to play that one day he’ll leave his wife and children because he knows he can’t stand them anymore because he found another woman. But, as I see the picture, I know being mistress is never listed on my plan and will never be. I couldn’t grasp the idea of being with someone who’s already committed with great responsibilities. It hurts trying to comprehend you won’t be together unless there’s some fortuitous event happened. Somehow, I didn’t wish any of those to occur.

Days later, I was trying to fight any feelings beginning to grow. So as not to get depressed, I ask for a dearest friend’s counsel. It’s true that in all parts of your body, only the heart has its own mind where you can’t dictate whom to love and when to. I perceived his happiness with his newly-built family and I can’t be in the way.

In the future, I will have a family where I will plan what’s best for us; for my husband and children are where my hopes starting to build. Like any other spouse, I don’t want some home-wrecker ruin the foundation I made for us. I don’t expect to be fooled behind my back with the guy who promised to by no means love and cherish me forever and later will exchange me because of a third party.

So, Never Had a Boyfriend? (Like Ever??)

There are two types of No Boyfriend Since Birth girls: one, those who doesn’t like being anyone’s girlfriend (Yes, I’m quoting that from Summer Finn of 500 Days of Summer); and lastly, those who have dated, had flings and tried their best to be courted by guys but still single in the end. These are overrated terms for an understatement realm of relationships-where people will expect you’ll have your boyfriend on the age of 13, lose virginity by 14 and get pregnant by 14 ½ years old. Today, when you’re 18 celebrating Valentines alone and watching movies with friends instead of getting hooked with a guy, you’re a freak. It’s like a mortal sin committed when you confessed you’ve never been kissed.  Some will ask, what’s the problem (as if it is)? Then you say, “I don’t know.”

For me, who cares? It’s a free country. And I pledge I’m normal for not entering on worthless and intense relationships filled with dramas. No words could actually resemble my opinion on why I don’t date since whenever someone asks me why, I don’t know how to express my beliefs for the fear of being totally judged. I asked myself umpteenth times why I don’t have any boyfriend or why didn’t until now that I am 20. But it all goes down on one thought: I enjoy being single. I didn’t try to pretend and be at someone else’s feet so as guys would fall over my heels and beg for my heart. To be honest, I just like not being committed to anyone. Because I want to display that I don’t need guys to be loved and have inspirations. I want to be free from troubles brought by jealousy or unable to satisfy promises.

Drew Barrymore as Josie Geller in the movie, "Never Been Kissed"

Drew Barrymore as Josie Geller in the movie, “Never Been Kissed”

I’m not saying having boyfriend or liking someone and soon engage on a connection with label is wrong.  I do have crushes in the form of Ian Somerhalder and Collin Farrell which seems pretty fantasy because they won’t share the admiration the way I felt for them. And when I was sophomore, I used to stalk my crush because I believed I was in love. I followed him after classes, write every encounter with him on my diary and I once stole his picture and pasted it on my notebook. His friends would mock me and I say whatever. It was reasonably disastrous; painful even, but I was young. The idea of love is superficial and deemed fictional before. When I look back, it would simply be a lesson substantial enough not to repeat. I learned that if there was one thing in anyone’s life need not to be rushed, that would be committing in a true relationship to a person you really aspire to be with.

I don’t enter relationships just for the sake of having boyfriend. The decision I made helped me utilizes my singleness and treats it as a gift. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re a loser; you’re just happy being temporarily available waiting for someone to fill in the vacancy. Besides, it’s difficult to start a relationship because of pressure then regret in the end. At the same time, being solo is a preparation stage of truly finding the guy who would sweep off your feet. When that day comes, you will realize it’s worth the wait. *