In Love With A Married Man


What would you do if the guy you love is unfortunately married? With ring on his finger and has plans to settle for family sake?  Gosh, it’s a cruel small world we’re living in; bound with clueless feelings and sudden burst of emotions where you can almost rip yourself off and ask, “Why the hell I’ve fallen in love with him? He’s married.”

It should be the end of the topic. After hearing the word engaged, married, with fiancée and planning to settle down; this is the moment we said to ourselves enough. But you know it’s not easy to forget or ignore a feeling you knew is very foreign. Too many fishes in the sea, probably. Fish yes, but good catch, I don’t think so. Because, there’s a possibility of catching starfish when you’re rummaging for better fish in the sea. This saying seems to apply on guys where better ones are already taken.

And why married guys filled with charm compared to singles? Why not look for available ones if the man we’re attracted to already has a wife?The inexplicable veracity lies with the appeal of being financially stable, less dependent, more matured and ultimate bravado. They have the capacity, one that is unexplainable, to make women fall in love with


them regardless of the marriage issue. Movies depicting infidelity is a testament as why it’s almost ok to date or have an affair to wedded guys. Perhaps, because this men allowed ladies like us to smooch them without restrictions. In return, we permit our hearts to rule instead of our minds. We plummet to a forbidden relationship and we still don’t care. Complications arise when a woman let a devoted man to get her even if she knows it’s wrong.

 Recently, I met a guy oozing with charisma luring me all over. He’s damned hot aside from him being buff and lean and everything. He looks younger than his age. Actually, I wouldn’t want to be distracted yet I can’t help myself looking at him so different that I wanted to kiss him. Seriously, my hormones are raging ready for war. I believe I love him for just a span of period. Things might have been fine since I’m single but he’s married. Capital M and the rest is history.

There was a part of me wanting more of knowing him fully and him to me. Imagination has been trying to play that one day he’ll leave his wife and children because he knows he can’t stand them anymore because he found another woman. But, as I see the picture, I know being mistress is never listed on my plan and will never be. I couldn’t grasp the idea of being with someone who’s already committed with great responsibilities. It hurts trying to comprehend you won’t be together unless there’s some fortuitous event happened. Somehow, I didn’t wish any of those to occur.

Days later, I was trying to fight any feelings beginning to grow. So as not to get depressed, I ask for a dearest friend’s counsel. It’s true that in all parts of your body, only the heart has its own mind where you can’t dictate whom to love and when to. I perceived his happiness with his newly-built family and I can’t be in the way.

In the future, I will have a family where I will plan what’s best for us; for my husband and children are where my hopes starting to build. Like any other spouse, I don’t want some home-wrecker ruin the foundation I made for us. I don’t expect to be fooled behind my back with the guy who promised to by no means love and cherish me forever and later will exchange me because of a third party.


10 Reasons Why You Must Watch “500 Days of Summer”

500 500 days500 Days Of Summer

Color my life with the chaos of trouble. Yes, its Summer Finn’s quote on her yearbook from my all-time favorite chic-flick movie, “500 Days of Summer”. I have been watching this for as many times as I could remember and yet, I still can’t get enough with it. My sis handpicks the movie as one of her most unforgettable young adult movie that seems too good to be true. I was wondering if there are couples or singles out there who haven’t seen this whimsical heart-rending film and I say, “What?”

To help you guys decide on finally lounging on your seat and watch 500 Days of Summer, here are the best reasons (I think) as why you must NEVER miss to watch it.

  1. It happens in real life. Like any other romantic flicks with dash of fantasy and impossible dreams, 500 days convey genuine stories of every “in a relationship” or “it’s complicated” people. There are no handsome princes and beautiful princesses with their carousels. Only true existence of people being in love and getting hurt. You will understand the before and after effects of being madly in love in the real setting.
  2. Nonchalant characters and amusing exchange of thoughts. One of the roles I love to play would be Tom Hansen’s little sis. She’s way informative when it comes to heart to heart talk even though she’s young. Views expressed are weird particularly when Tom told his friends how Summer answered on his question regarding her weekend. It actually testifies that guys are obscure thinkers than girls and how hostile it sounds to share with their friends.
  3. Not your ordinary romantic show. The story is based on sequence of events from the day Summer met Tom until they finally separated. How it started, how it ended, why they break-up and how their romance blooms was depicted in a creative form of storytelling numbered from one to 500.
  4. Quotable quotes. Who would forget the movie, “Notting Hill” when Ana Scott brought up the line, “I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her?” If you’re a go-getter of inspiring quotes, then this film is the right one for you.
  5. Teary but witty. Love stories are sometimes created to make us cry and reminisce the “good old days” we had. Thanks to humor has it, we don’t really have to shed tears without sheer dose of “hahaha” moments by their scenes. You will incredibly burst out of laughter and sob unwillingly at the same time.
  6. The Smiths!!! Period. Period. Period.
  7.  Sometimes, the person we thought is the one may not really mean for us. Maybe you will ask, what happened? Why didn’t they marry after? Otherwise stated, you’ll have to see it for yourself and find out if Summer decide the right choice so Tom wouldn’t have felt abandoned by his love to the first girl he’s afraid to lose.
  8.  A definite spoiler. Imagine a movie made to inspire us personally through the ultimate combination of comedy and drama, great characters, timely lessons worth related in our own experiences? That’s precisely how 500 days of Summer was prepared-to stimulate our senses and touch our innermost feelings.
  9. Learn from the experts. Advices eh? Don’t align expectations with reality. Get the freakiest superb love advice to help you avoid being attached to someone who doesn’t like serious commitment. Save the best stuff for later.
  10. Best artists ever! Newbie Zooey Deschanel is cool and quirky, right for the character of Summer whose adventurous, appealing and sweet. Joseph Gordon Levitt (JGL) also known as Tom Hansen in the movie defines himself as a “perfectly adequate” guy and he sure expose the role more than viewers will expect. Watch out his smooth moves, too!

*Photos courtesy of Google.

Attitude Problem: How To Deal With It

I was born to be narcissistic pessimist. It came to a point when I questioned my parents why I confront people differently and why do I keep looking at their mistakes. And why do I give myself so much importance? Neither any of them answered me directly. Few shrugs, “Maybe, it’s how you are created.” I didn’t accept their reason because I sense I wasn’t normal. When encountering problems I usually get annoyed easily to people around me. I easily lose temper because I hate waiting but I’m usually late. I had quarreled to some of my friends and regret doing the act.

There was this time I shouted to our nanny. I told her she has bad attitude that’s why her neighbors fight with her and say something really mean behind her back. And you know what? I was the first one to cry instead of her. She actually blabber unpleasant stuff I did which particularly involves my parents. Once, a dear friend of mine became mad at me for ignoring her. Well, that was an exception! I was pissed off to her for being so moody that I feel she wants me to endear her every time I wouldn’t fulfill what she wants.

It hurts hearing others telling how your personality stinks. I try not to be too forward, altering my interaction; I seek for friends’ counsel because I’m thinking I was undergoing to a psychological problem or mental deficiencies. I had an initial assessment to the company I applied. One of their exams includes a Bach measurement test where I have to complete a sentence based on what occurs first in my mind. It was easy since I let ideas and memories flow in order to beat the time frame given. I was interviewed after and the HR assistant asked my answer, “backstabbing a friend because she wouldn’t lend me her doll” to the sentence, “My worst memory is….” I explained my side and you know what? I messed up. Inasmuch as I want to cover the hideous riposte, I told her the truth of me being so impatient to a person like the one I backstabbed with. I added, “It was 11 years ago, though.” Yes, exactly! It was a long time but I can still remember which a bad idea is because I’m looking for a career to save my life; but here I am, tripping myself into my own ploy. And I kissed the job goodbye.

What an ultimate jerk I was.  I have no common sense that I wasn’t able to think that the test was a trick to further recognize my hidden personality and some factors related to work ethics. The problem, I knew it all along: Attitude. The solution? I’m completely clueless. I wanted to break the barriers hindering me to confront my personal demons. I researched about a pilgrimage, some sort of voyage in Brazil and the reviews were positive. He found what he’s been looking for. Yet, I may want to absorb such piece; the thought of leaving my country to find myself to unknown place may not work for me. This is not Eat. Pray. Love.

One time, I opened a book titled “Purpose Driven Life.” At the back of the cover says, “This is your answer to every life’s ultimate questions”. So, I browsed its contents and started reading the first chapter without missing any pages. The verses written were quite deep and I don’t know if I should take it literally. For better understanding, I read the full meaning of it from the bible. Apart from what people say about how I should change my attitude, I got the best version of eliminating my weaknesses in a book stocked in my cabinet.


Attitude, as I discovered, is a life-long process to develop. It is not an overnight impasse a person can pray to God, and then by next day he’s unconditionally different human being walking on his way to office with a halo on his head. PDL has helped me confront my ruthless side. First, do not always listen to what others say about me. Instead, focus my eyes to the promises of the Lord. Not anyone can relate to what I am saying since each of us believes something, either entity or not. What made me trust to the explanations of Rick Warren (author of the book) is the truest conviction on words with the relation of stories happened in reality. Second, offer my disabilities to HIM. No efforts could comfort my inner struggles on trying to become better person I wanted me to be. It is only by faith and redemption that I can truly amend my assertiveness.

What happens after finishing the pages? Did people around me agree I never look better? Did my friend praise me for harnessing noble personality that permits their ideals? No, nothing much has changed. I’m still dealing with the attitude I know only God can deteriorate.

Fifty Shades of Grey: The Book for Awakening of Innocence


Are you looking for lunatic hardcore novel that will topple your sensibilities and feminist views? Better check out the provocative novel that delivers one’s imagination to wilderness-Fifty Shades of Grey.

I wouldn’t expect a lot will agree reading this novel that earned negative and positive feedbacks from people of different walks of life. What started as a trend in Twitter soon became the talk of the town; until the talk reached our vicinity and voila! I was mesmerized or let say; I got pretty carried away with the characters and story. In fact, it wasn’t the type of my genre at all. It could have been that my friends also read it and I got hooked. Yet, it’s more of my willingness to explore the possible unknown which made me share my review to this book.

You may or may not remorse for deciding to read the first saga to the last part of the book. The aftermath was crazy. Any reader’s innocence will completely vanish, literally and figuratively, bringing your ego an utmost pleasure. Here’s the synopsis of Fifty:

The story revolves around the clumsy but beautiful, Anastasia Steele, a literature major student and the young, affluent CEO of Grey Holdings Enterprise, Christian Grey. Fate entwines the two when Ana interviewed Christian for their university’s paper while Katherine (friend of Ana) was indisposed. Grey got attracted to Ana while the latter felt the same admiration but resent the idea. The conversation was followed by accidentally on purpose visitations of Christian. Ana, who’s trying to neglect her feelings for the lad failed after knowing he’s not open for serious relationship. Crestfallen, Steele tried to avoid and separate herself for the imminent danger of falling in love with the man. But Grey was persistent in pursuing Ana for other reason: to become her submissive.

In an attempt to attain a win-win situation, Christian brought Ana to his place where he confessed his engagement in BDSM relationship (Bondage-Dominant-Submissive/Sadism-Masochism). He showed all of his sexual apparatus and present Ana to the Red Room of Pain. The dominant-submissive was bonded by a contract established with strict terms and conditions. In exchange to gratify the man she loves even if it means giving up her purity, she agreed to sign.

The subsequent chapters depict their steamy erotic adventures, lavish lifestyles and desire to fully seek pleasure using their bodies. It was, during those times, that Ana and Christian realized their weaknesses: Ana consumed of her sexual fantasies and Christian, slowly admitting he can’t afford to lose the girl he has fallen in love with. The succeeding sequels of Fifty Shades (Darker and Freed) tackle more of the two’s sex escapades and this time, totally carnal and mind-blowing, with participation of various characters which play vital roles on the story. Of course, what would be a novel without twists?

The Characters: In my opinion, Grey was a lot hotter than I thought he was. The delineations used by the author were the seamless Hollywood epitome of Brad Pitt’s face and Demi-God’s abs. If a man reads the book, well, what can he say? “Duh, that man doesn’t exist. He couldn’t be just way good-looking.” Probably. But Christian was made for women to think he does exist. He’s a nerve to the bones, definitely disturbing. I once thought if there was a Christian Grey out there somewhere. He’s giving hype to every aspect of Fifty Shades. With his words used during his climax, I wouldn’t know what to feel exactly.

The fragile Ana, derived from Bella of Twilight, is fiercer and stronger. If you read the story, imagine how life would have been living with a guy like Christian who’s adorable, you die.

The Plot: My favorite scenario is their first encounter at GHE because in the end of the book, Ana is no longer telling her story. It was Christian’s part already. The starting point was the interview where Grey manifested his desire to know Ana better and delve deeper on his odd approaches when he saw her.

One thing, if I would have given the chance to alter a specific setting in Fifty Shades that would probably be the time they had children and still has intimate scenes in the vast green field of their mansion. It’s awkward when someone sees the couple. So, I’ll eliminate it since they could save their stuff in private place. Let’s be little realistic.

All the more reason to love the book is knowing Grey’s upbringing. He wasn’t molested or contemplated as a victim of pedophilia. He was driven to be sexually addictive in search of affection. Christian was deprived of a mother’s love and maltreated by the men his mom met. By the time he reached his adolescence, he found a refuge of his bereavement. Grey was heaved in the realm of sex in erroneous ways. Finally, Ana became the solution to his predicament.

Yes, it’s erotic. It will lose your senses leaving your thoughts fighting the urge not to envisage.  There’s penetration, orgasms, bad words, wild positions and a little bit visualization of Grey’s body. Though, any reader will see the meaning of the messages that it’s not just the sex thing. The book has more to offer; it’s more than meets the eye to be exact.

For more information about the book, visit:


Ugly is the New Pretty

Have you looked in the mirror to measure your vital stats only to find out you wouldn’t fit the description of gorgeous male bods and skinny dashing females? When was the time you had a make-over (trimming eyebrows, curling eyelashes, wearing cool shades of mascara) to look like your favorite celebrity and you were surprise (the bad kind) because you don’t know who’s in the mirror? Have you seen your reflection impressed or depressed trying to figure out what adjustments and improvements you need to work? You’ve wished tons of times that you can easily work that dream abs and erase the freckles bothering your hopeful face. Frustrating, eh? No, don’t be.

What the society depicts are somehow exaggerations and pretentious to encourage people to embrace a lifestyle that is not theirs. Beauty is define by standards-how you dressed, what type of styles you’re in, your coolest bling and what you put on your face. You’ve become afraid to flaunt your skin because of those scars. Your hair is way less smooth, body without curves, lips opposite of Angelina Jolie and nose too big. Appearance is important, at least. There are certain exemptions as why beauty matters: because it’s significant in work force and media relations. When you’re ugly, you don’t belong in a magazine house filled with models wearing skimpy skirts and showy outfits. If you dare submitting your application, you’re ambitious. Like, “Hey, you’re in the wrong direction…” You would feel left out. Worst, criticized by people who call themselves beautiful.

vintage beauty

It’s as if you’re being treated in the way you don’t plea because you’re ugly. Let me tell you something: you didn’t choose to become what you are right now especially if you’re born with it. Those babies who have undeniable criticism on their physique and form, they didn’t want any of that. If they could possibly choose their desired nose’s structure, eye’s shape and lips, I bet they would have wanted differently. And due to genetics, the world charges them to pay the price they never intended to bear. Beauty products are advertised and sold to hide our flaws. We buy these products in belief of finding solutions to hide our insecurities. However, if external features are your description of real beauty, you’re missing the point of the human total package.

Whoever actually invented the term ugly hates it. I do. Everyone has its own unique character diverse from the other. We are wonderfully and fearfully made by God who does small to big creatures. We are beautiful. There is nothing to be ashamed of. The old saying goes, “Physical appearance lasts but attitude doesn’t”. I believe that true beauty resides deep within our hearts. No matter how bad your ugly face is and the guy next to you disgust staring, ignore him. Never let people define you in the beauty standards of Earth where nothing is absolute but change. Tell those who laugh because of your weird hair, no-make-up look and chubby figure that they are mislaid with one thing-appreciation. Show them what you got that no one else could. Stay pretty without having to change your true you.

Shout and be proud-BEAUTY IS ME.

So, Never Had a Boyfriend? (Like Ever??)

There are two types of No Boyfriend Since Birth girls: one, those who doesn’t like being anyone’s girlfriend (Yes, I’m quoting that from Summer Finn of 500 Days of Summer); and lastly, those who have dated, had flings and tried their best to be courted by guys but still single in the end. These are overrated terms for an understatement realm of relationships-where people will expect you’ll have your boyfriend on the age of 13, lose virginity by 14 and get pregnant by 14 ½ years old. Today, when you’re 18 celebrating Valentines alone and watching movies with friends instead of getting hooked with a guy, you’re a freak. It’s like a mortal sin committed when you confessed you’ve never been kissed.  Some will ask, what’s the problem (as if it is)? Then you say, “I don’t know.”

For me, who cares? It’s a free country. And I pledge I’m normal for not entering on worthless and intense relationships filled with dramas. No words could actually resemble my opinion on why I don’t date since whenever someone asks me why, I don’t know how to express my beliefs for the fear of being totally judged. I asked myself umpteenth times why I don’t have any boyfriend or why didn’t until now that I am 20. But it all goes down on one thought: I enjoy being single. I didn’t try to pretend and be at someone else’s feet so as guys would fall over my heels and beg for my heart. To be honest, I just like not being committed to anyone. Because I want to display that I don’t need guys to be loved and have inspirations. I want to be free from troubles brought by jealousy or unable to satisfy promises.

Drew Barrymore as Josie Geller in the movie, "Never Been Kissed"

Drew Barrymore as Josie Geller in the movie, “Never Been Kissed”

I’m not saying having boyfriend or liking someone and soon engage on a connection with label is wrong.  I do have crushes in the form of Ian Somerhalder and Collin Farrell which seems pretty fantasy because they won’t share the admiration the way I felt for them. And when I was sophomore, I used to stalk my crush because I believed I was in love. I followed him after classes, write every encounter with him on my diary and I once stole his picture and pasted it on my notebook. His friends would mock me and I say whatever. It was reasonably disastrous; painful even, but I was young. The idea of love is superficial and deemed fictional before. When I look back, it would simply be a lesson substantial enough not to repeat. I learned that if there was one thing in anyone’s life need not to be rushed, that would be committing in a true relationship to a person you really aspire to be with.

I don’t enter relationships just for the sake of having boyfriend. The decision I made helped me utilizes my singleness and treats it as a gift. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re a loser; you’re just happy being temporarily available waiting for someone to fill in the vacancy. Besides, it’s difficult to start a relationship because of pressure then regret in the end. At the same time, being solo is a preparation stage of truly finding the guy who would sweep off your feet. When that day comes, you will realize it’s worth the wait. *