I write this blog entry soonest after I read a message on my e-mail:
When I saw how failure am the day I opened my e-mail, I don’t know what I should do. Cry? Or laugh and go with the flow? My hands were shaking and I can’t feel my thumbs typing on my computer. Soon, the screen became blurred. There was an inaudible sound. Everything went blank. I reached my phone to inform my group mates, spreading the bad news”: Hey, we didn’t make it to the finals”. No one replied. It was a relief neither anyone criticized the efforts we exerted. Unfortunately, I missed the best part-winning.
I appreciate the fact that I am no good at all. I am born to be unlucky. I have doubts of leading a group and possessing ground-breaker characteristics for the fear of losing…for the fear of becoming a major punches line on joke time. The agony remains unbearable in the past few days. I am afraid I might be scolded and sentenced on my flaws.
The greatest failure I committed. I always been pressuring myself to be the best I can that’s why here’s what I got.
When you fail, the first thing that registers to your mind is not coping. You will consider what could have been to avoid such misfortune. Eventually, I recovered. I used to stick to my mind that that day could have been one of the greatest frustrations I’ve had. Basically, it was. Soon, I meditate using the bible and communicate with my folks. I actually had a favorite inspirational quote from that experience:
“Work as if everything depended on you. Trust as if everything depended on God.”
Should I worry again when I stumble down instead of standing, dusting the dirt upon my dress? Maybe next time, prayer will do. Needless is it to sing, “I Could Have Had it All”. Right?